I want my ex back, but does he want me back?We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female Hi, My ex and I have been off and on again for 2.5 years. Most times we broke up it was because he was scared of committment. This last time he says he just doesnt love me like i love him, but that he does love me. Everytime we break up it is because things get more serious - we started looking at houses to buy etc. We broke up this last time about a month ago -but we are still hanging out as friends, and have slept together once (and it was perfect) - although before we broke up he wouldn't sleep with me at all, that is how I knew something was up. I am fruastrated with the whole situation, but I love him so much and I want to be with him. I think the last time we got back together was because I started to see someone else and he wanted me for himself. It was at that time we started talking marriage then, not even three weeks before we broke up it was V-day and he got me a digital camera and in the card he wrote that he hopes that we share many memories together. I just don't understand how it can go from one extreme to the other. Is there anything I can do to get him back? I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female Commitment problem I am dealing with the same kind of man. I understand how frustrating and painful it is. But unfortunately, the fact is that there's no way to change a commitment-phobic person -- unless he himself realizes one day that he is commitment-phobic, he doesn't like that, and he wants to change it himself. Sometimes with these men, the crux of the problem is that he is afraid of losing freedom if things get too serious between you. Try to assure him that you'll respect his freedom. And also, with this kind of man, you have to show him that you are extremely self-sufficient and independent. See, the last time when you dated someone else, he wanted you back immediately! That's the way it is! Show him that you don't need to rely on him. He might get very attracted to that kind of quality. Of course, you might need to keep "acting" and playing "hide and seek" for the rest of your life to keep him interested, if he never changes. But if you really love him so much you're willing to do that, I wish you all the best!! I know how it feels. Good luck!! The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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