He lied to me and betrayed me, I want him backWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female I am a 30 year old and have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. My boyfriend is 29. This summer he met a girl whom we both know. The girl just turned 20 a few months ago. We even drove to Tulsa for her graduation as support to our cell group leader who just happens to be her mother. My boyfriend and I were having problems of our own at the time and she knew that we were in a relationship. Well,I had to find out by myself what was going on and discovered that they have been talking on a regular basis and sometimes when I am there. See, we were living together at the time so he would take his cell phone to the closet until I started listening on his conversations. So of course it tore me up badly. Now they have been spending time together since he moved out. He never broke up with me and I with him. He says he needs to figure out stuff. He says he is not attracted to her but she has everything he needs in a woman. I am trying to be understanding because I see him agonizing on this issue over and over again. I dont know if it is my duty to help him or what I should do to win him back. We are such good friends that we spent most of our time together but now he gives her the time and day. Just a week ago, I went over to his apartment, of course I was snooping around on him. I know when he doesn’t answer my phone calls he is with her. So I decided to go there anyways. I confronted him about him telling me she doesn’t come to his place. I felt very bad because he had lied to me. I threw a temper tantrum and even confronted the girl who also wanted to know what I was doing there. So obviously, My boyfriend or should I even call him boyfriend, Had been lying to her as well about us. As a woman, I know she is not going to back down even though she knows I am that other woman. What should I do in this triangle because I don’t want to lose what I had with him. How do I win him back? Please somebody help. User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female Hello! I am exactly in the same situation as the writer herself. I am 32 years old and I met this friend of mine and he is 26 years old. At first I thought he likes me. Both of us talk casually and I simply like him for being there for me, well at least none of us show our dislikes about one another or shout at one another. For your information both of us met by accident. A friend of mine introduce him to me and I just like to get to know him well. Since he is working quite far from me so mostly I send him emails just to say "How do you do?". Many times he never replies to my emails and yet he keeps on denying for having an affair with another woman. I even called upon my other friend to find out the truth about him but nothing seems to show any proof that he is seeing another woman. The other day I saw him holding hands with a younger woman and I was still thinking of how to make him confess instead of lying. I send in one email which emphasis more about our relationship and how I wish to get married to someone else if god willing and not with him(I call it the bluff email). Then few days ago he send an email telling me that he is going to marry another woman and will I still be his friend after his committment? In a plain sentence "I will leave you for a new woman". I was truly shock by this news and I send an email asking him "what makes him think that I don't deserve him?" I even mentioned about how he made the first move to approach me and then suddenly denying my rights to have him and instead marrying another woman. I kind of confuse about this relationship but one thing for sure he has break my heart so deeply that I just don't know how to fix it. It cut both ways and only god can help me now. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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