We crossed the line and realized we love each other



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Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I'm unhappily married and in the process of divorce. I've been cheating with a married man for over 2 years (he has been married for 17years). I have realized that my marriage will not change and continues to be unhappy, verbally abusive at times physically abusive the last 5 years and on and off of the total 11 years of marriage. I have a small child and feel this is the right move for everyone involved.

The marriaed man I currently see also feels his marriage cannot be salvaged but stays because his daughter has only two years left of high school. He also believes that staying provides more stability for his daughter and it's the only reason he stays. We started as friends waiting over six months before anything happened deciding on friends with benefits. Before either of us knew it we crossed the line and realize we love each other. Neither of us want to admit it because we feel it cannot be, we are married.

I have tried to stop but some how we still continue. It doesn't help we have a mutual friend which knows we are seeing each other. Our friend doesn't endorse it but feels we are soulmates.

Do I completely forget about this man or continue for two years and see where fate takes us?

Troubled




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Who do you love?


I am in the same boat... sorta... I recently cheated on my husband of 6 months with the man that I have been in love with since I was 12 years old. He loves me too, but since he has children he won't leave his unhappy marriage. I have children too, 3. I came home to realize what I did to them was wrong. But I can't even look at my husband, because I don't love him. He knows because I believe in honesty and truth in everything.
The point to this is that if your lover stops your heart and steals your breath with every kiss and it's only been 2 years hang on a little longer. If he doesn't then let it go and work it out with hubby. Kids aren't a reason to stay but they are a good reason to keep it on the DL for a while longer.
I used to believe that my morals would keep me out of these messes but love really screws it all up. Figure out who you love more... you, the men, or the kids involved and then do what you feel is right... In my case it's getting things together to leave and be true to my heart.... yours may be different.
Good luck!!! You are going to need it.

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