I want to do it again with the same person



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I cheated at my husband for the first time? I been with my husband for 6 years and I never did something like that.
but the worst part is that I want to do it again with the same person. what should I do? and why am I doing this?




User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Another b/f


I could have written that question. I know why I did it. I am dissatisfied with my husband. I am bored. I like the other guy a lot. All three of Georges suggestions.

I have been married 11 years. We have sex maybe once every few months and I need more physical contact then that even if it is not intercourse.

I have talked to my husband about it countless times over the years. It never gets resolved. We are just two different people when it comes to "touching".

I feel guilty about the other guy of course but I also feel somewhat justified. I have been hurting for a really long time and it just isn't how life should be. Part of marriage is meeting the others physical needs such as sex.

I am not living in a fantasy world and I know the difference between "romantic love" the kind you feel in the first year of a relationship and "lasting love" the kind you feel when you really care for someone. I understand that and don't expect to have those strong lustful feelings after being with someone for 10 years. Of course that would be fun but I just want some healthy touching in my marriage.

My husband knows this. He thinks I am going to leave him someday because of it and he occasionally trys when he sees I am drifting away from him.

I am aggrivated that I have to reach a rock bottom low to where I seek outside physical contact before he will pay any attention to me. I guess some may advise that I leave him for a more "touchy huggy" kind of guy. That is really a tough one as everything else in our marriage is near perfect. I know I am rambling on about this but i am getting it off my chest.

So I too want to be with that "other guy" again. The one that can't keep his hands off me. I don't even care if it is a meaningless fling and we are both using eachother for sex. It feels good and I want more.
If my husband were no longer with me, I would love to live alone and just have a boyfriend or two without commitment.

Sometimes I think I am over this marriage thing. I have plenty of things to keep me busy in life and I don't think I need to have a husband to complete myself anymore like I did when I was younger.

On the other hand, I am not quite willing to give it up but I am not really sure why that is. I guess I am clinging to the hope that things could be better.

OK, go ahead and bash me now. I wrote some of this on a religious site and boy did they bash me. LOL


The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - I am Cheating
All Questions & Answers by Category
Most Recent 20 Questions


Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement