Getting Over my ExWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago.I'm only 14 and me and him went out for 4 months.I dunno if that would be considered long or what.But those for months of my life were the best.I had my first kiss with him and first guy I actually got close to.I fell in love with him.I loved him so much. But within those four months me and him broke up twice..but went back out within a week.So..when we broke up this time I was hoping we'd go back out soon.But its been a month now and we haven't yet.And I still like him SO much..and I might even still love him. He's already went out with 2 others girls.So..I believe he's moved on and doesn't like me anymore.But now were still talk like 3 hours on the phone every night,and were good friends.But then at school he can sometimes act like a real jerk..But everytime I'll see him with his girlfriend at the time( he's single right now) or flirting with another girl it just kills me.It seems like all I ever do is think about him.I feel as if I'm obssessed.Which I don't like. I want to move on,forget about him.But everytime I try or I think I am.Then all of a sudden I start thinking about all the great memories of being with him.And I start to like him more and more.Then even at times I almost cry. Why does it still hurt so much?I still hope we'll go back out.But me and him has talked about it,we decided that it probably wouldn't work out and didn't want to go through all the pain we felt when we broke up.But I'm still feeling it.Should I tell him how I feel?What should I do?Or should I just keep trying to get over him?If so how? User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female I know right now it seems like there's absolutely nothing you can do about the situation. You're probably feeling pretty helpless. Just know that, right now, that's normal. It's human nature to not like change and when that change is someone you care about, its really hard. We've all been there, hun. It sounds to me like you guys are still close. If it's important to you that you keep him in your life, than I'd say, do it. Stay friends. But it is too hard to see him flirting with other girls, you might want to rethink that. I'm not saying you need to end it forever. You might need some space, just for now. Take a little time for yourself to heal. Surround yourself with people that care about you and love you unconditionally, like your family and friends. Take this opportunity to make new friends, and even flirt a little bit yourself. The first time I had my heart truly broken was at the beginning of my sophomore year in college. When we broke up, I thought my world was ending. I stayed in bed and didn't see anyone. I completely shut out the world and because of that, my other relationships and grades suffered. Don't let this happen to you! Throw yourself into something you love, like a sport or activity. (In my experience, there's nothing that boys love more than a girl that's really good at something... it shows confidence and that's incredibly attractive). By experiencing new people and new things, it will leave the door open for more friends and more romances! As for that boy, chances are, if you're acting like you're ok with everything he's doing and just go do your own thing, he'll wonder why you don't need him anymore and that's going to get to him. Trust me. But, maybe by the time he realizes this, you might be done and over him and on to something or someone else... you never know what's out there. Keep your eyes open though! There's so many amazing people in the world and it would be a shame to overlook one because you're still crying over the last. Head up and smile! The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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