I think he overreacted! Will he ever come back?



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Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex broke up with me less than a week ago. Naturally, I already miss him terribly and want him back!!We were together for about 4 months, and he left me on Christmas eve.

He's had a lot of tragedies happen in his life during the time that we were together. His cousin/best friend passed away, he got kicked out of school, he got into a terrible car accident and almost lost his life, he was also arrested, and he got laid off from his job. He now has a new job, but because of his over-achiever personality he's been working over time almost every day (Works from 6 a.m. to about 11 p.m. every night, including weekends). To make a long story short, when he is stressed out he tends to like to be alone and not communicate with anyone, and when a person tries to reach out to him during stressful times he lashes out in the WORST attitude.

Lately, he had been giving me attitude whenever I tried to call him to see how he was doing. On Christmas eve, I texted him to let him know that I was tired of him giving me attitude. I told him that whenever he was ready to talk, he could call me, because I was done trying. He texted me right back and told me he was alone on christmas eve, and he was completely done with me. I think he was overreacting. As I said, when he's stressed he lashes out when he doesn't get his space.

After he texted me, I called him repeatedly SOBBING, apologizing profusely, and begging him to rethink his decision. I know this was a BAD move, because I know he hates desperation and clingyness, but I didn't know how else to handle it. He answered the phone each time I called, but he finally said, "I can't do it, I told you from day one that once you cross me I'm completely done and turned off". I'm guessing that he left me because he felt that I was being very insensitive.

Just 2 weeks before all of this, the day I went home for Christmas break, he looked me in my eyes and told me that he loved me and that I meant a lot to him. We had a strong 3 month bond before we had gotten together, and he had already been telling me that he loved me even BEFORE we made it official.

The last thing he said to me was that he wanted to be alone and stay alone. Is it possible that in time he will rethink his decision and come back to me?

All my friends and even my parents seem to think that he will come around, but my friends and family don't know him....literally. He is EXTREMELY STUBBORN.

We're both 19, and I know we're very young, but he really is the best boyfriend I ever had. I even consider him to be my first real relationship. I would really like him for him to come back.




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Realize his mistake


I am in the same situation, my boyfriend just broke up with my on Christmas eve after me calling him repeatedly for two straight days. We fight a lot but there's also a lot of love and a lot of stuff we need to work, but eventually all the ups and downs got to him and he wanted to break up, and he did it through email. He told that he was not in love with me, that I was not the one, and that we will never have a future together. This was hard for me to take, especially if he's been telling me that he loves me all along.


But I've realized that if someone where to make the move to get back together it would have to be him. Because he is stubborn, just like your ex, he would have to make the decision himself, no one else can push him. If you want him back, you need to just take a step back, give him so distance. If he wants to be left alone, leave him alone. If your love was true, then he will realize that he is missing you in his life and will want you back. It's stupid but true, if you love someone you have to left them go, the ones who are worth it will come back to you, they always do. I know it's hard, it's hard for me too. But you just have to believe what you've built was true and that in the end everything will work for the better whether or not you get back together. Have a little faith. Give some space. GOSH MAKE HIM KNOW WHAT HE'S MISSING. keep some distance, make him jealous, do something. Show that you are moving on with your live and that you care about him and respect his decisions. Maybe then he will reach out to you and realize his mistake.

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