She loves me, but has to find herself



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Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have been with my girlfriend with 3.5 years and I could not be happier, she seems to feel the same way. We have been dating since she was a senior in high school and I was already in college(we attended the same high school and now same college). She comes to me and tells me that though she is sure shes loves me and that she is happy, she can't help but feel that she could maybe love me more or find somethign else out there because she has never experienced it on her own. She is just relying on the fact that if we are "meant to be" i'll be waiting for her after she has had her explorations. I am still young and I have been in two relationships of 1.5 years+, but they way I feel with her is enough to keep me satisfied for a lifetime. I want to talk to her, text her, anything, but I feel that would push her further away since I am not giving her space during our time apart. I don't know what to do because I think about her every second of every day and it is distracting me from the things I need to do. Am I supposed to just wait for her because I feel like I can't live without her, or does it not seem fair and I should just move on?




User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Spread her wings


Let her spread her wings. People often, in relationships, have the "the grass is greener" syndrome. This is a real condition (though not necvessarily called what I named it) and drove her to think that her love for you could be stronger if she ventured out (like the song...you don't know what you've got until it's gone) or she could possibly find another love stronger than that she has for you. Your love for her may very well be strong enough for you to last forever with her, but, speaking from experience, no matter how commune you feel your emotions are with your girlfriend you two are TWO DIFFERENT people, and there will always be some level of difference in the way you feel at a given time. I would say it's best to let her go...

BUT...

Call it a break. Tell her what you'd feel comfortable with her doing (i.e. You can date, but no sex with other people...etc).

Also...

Feel free (As in DONT FEEL GUILTY) to go out and experiment and try dating other girls yourself. You WILL drive yourself crazy if you don't occupy your time somehow.

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