Wants to help her ex figure out whether she is a lesbian or not



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Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I am a 30 year old lesbian. I have been dating and committed to a woman the same age for the past 3 years. I was her first girlfriend but not first same-sex experience. She had even been married before. In the beginning it was great. We were perfect. Up until 3 days ago, I thought we were still perfect. I found out the she had cheated on me with 3 different guys (that I know of and she admitted to) during the past 2 years. During those past 2 years she made me feel loved, we were just a sexually active as ever. She made me feel like she was happy. There was once that we watched a movie that had a confused "straight" girl who was involved in a lesbian relationship and was confused. The movie was "Kissing Jessica Stein" . After the movie she told me that she was feeling similar things. Unfortunately, I swept it under the rug thinking, "well if your with me, you must be gay". After that she didn't feel like she could talk to ne about it and never did until I found out about the first affair.

We broke up last night. She said that she needed to be alone to figure things out. I am willing to forget about her lies and cheating. She says that if she is really a lesbian then it is definitely me that she wants. I honestly think she is a lesbian. Her feelings are too stong and emotions were so raw during "the talk" I can't imagine that she isn't. I guess what I want to know is how can I help her figure this out? I want her to be happy. I also want her to come back to me. How can I help her. My heartache will pass if I can't get her back. I just want to help her figure herself out. She is a remarkable woman who I love deeply.

Thank you for your help.




User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female

I think this is probably a typical situation that homosexuals deal with, simply because this lifestyle is unnatural. I don't want to sound judgmental, but I've had friends who have had to deal with this. God created man and woman to be together as a sacred union for the main purpose of keeping the earth populated and for lifelong companionship. It's very normal these days to allow for this lifestyle and accept it as normal. I hope you, as well as your friend, realize that God wants you to be happy, and He did not create you to be gay. He can help change you; He's helped friends of mine. (I'm not looking down on you as I don't come even close to being perfect, this is just a matter of principle.) God Bless.

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