My Ex is a JerkWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female I had been with my guy for almost 4 yrs. Recently he moved to another city but we promised we would still be together because we were going to marry when he came back. Without a reason, he started being a jerk by telling me I wasn't valuable at all ... then later he apologized (that was about 1 month ago). 2 weeks ago he told me he was a player, a thug. Of course I started asking why he said that, but he wouldn't answer at all. Later he told me it was all a joke (after I called him because he hung up on me). I told him I wasnt ready to take jokes like that because I was still hurt from last time ... all he said is that i get butt-hurt too easily. I broke up with him for being so insensitive and uncaring and he still hasn't called, but i am not sure if i want him to ... I mean i still love him, I gave him my virginity ... I thought he was the love of my life :( In the past he has been controlling at times but he promised he wouldn't be like that anymore and he sounded very serious. He is a really nice person with beautiful feelings (most of the time). I don't know if it is possible that he is acting so stupidly because of the friends he now lives with or is it the distance between us? I don't know what to do ... call him ... or does he not deserve my call ... should I ever get back with him ... I'm just dying of the pain. User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female Dump the jerk Hi I went through something very similar. I was with "the love of my life" on and off for 4 years. I waisted so much time with the wrong guy. I would go into great detail of what happened. But, there is no point. If someone is more or less emotionally abusing you, because that is what this guy is doing to you, then stay away! Trust me. All he will do is treat you good during the beginning phase, but, soon reveal his true colors again. Do you honestly believe he will be nicer to someone else? Obviously this guy has major issues that have NOTHING to do with you. You can't help him. He needs professional help! My suggestion is even if it's hard and you miss him- move on! I know how hard it is when you love someone so much but they could care less. Put it this way; stay healthy, be active, do things to improve yourself like working out, eating right, hanging out with nice friends, going to church or temple or whatever religion you have... get a new hobbie... and stay away from loosers... date a lot of different guys, practice safe sex if you choose to have sex... and just have fun! Eventually MR. Right will come along. And even though you may love this jerk- eventually you will see your better off alone than with someone who is meen to you. I often miss my ex- but you see I don't miss who he really is- I miss the guy I was with during our first yr together- the nice guy- or so he seemed to be... but after that yr faded he begin emotionally abusing me somewhat like the way your ex has to you... so be patient... and try to get over him and move on with your life.... always, Melissa The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
|