Is This Love?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Malei have been dating this girl for 6 weeks now, i really really like her alot, i think i am in love with her and i told her that i love her. she says that she loves me too. we really have a good relationship, its like we we're were meant to be together, we so perfect for each other. I need to know if this is the real thing, i'm scared that after a while i won't feel this way anymore and then i would have to break up with her and i don't want to hurt her. i think i feel this way because this is my first serious relationship. i am 24 and she is 20. at the moment i am so in love with her that i want to marry her, i need to know if this will last or am i just being overwhelmed by my feelings.
RomanceClass.com AdviceCongratulations on being in love, it's a great feeling! What you are in now is the normal glorious-rush of brand new love. You have rose colored glasses on, everything seems great, you seem perfect for each other, it's wonderful. This is a NORMAL thing your bodies do to help you guys hook up together. It gets you through the initial stages of getting to know each other.
I have the normal stages of love here -
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/stages.asp
and yes, this feeling fades after a while. But this is normal! If you tried to survive for years in this blind-passion state, how could you deal with normal ups and downs of life! Instead it melds over into a more mature, full love in which you KNOW you have bad traits, you KNOW she has bad traits! Neither of you are perfect. None of us are. But if you guys are always honest, truthful, and talk a great deal about how you feel and what bothers you, you get through the ups and downs of life.
The point is not to run off when you realize "it's not perfect"!! Look at all the relationships in the world - NONE of them are perfect. But the ones that last are where the two people say "I *know* this is not perfect - but I am very happy being with him, and he is very happy being with me. And together we will be happy for the rest of our lives, no matter what the world does to us."
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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