controlling, or what?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
my sister has been with her boyfriend for almost three years now. they broke up last year and got together again a few months later. while they were on a break, she started seeing another guy but nothing was serious.

after they got back together, my sister kept her friendship with the "other" guy and all was innocent because she really had no feelings for him. however, her boyfriend started getting jealous and never trusted her, fearing she would cheat even though she kept assuring him she would not. he made her look incapable of taking care of herself and portrayed her to be weak.

because of that, her friendship with the guy faded and recently, her boyfriend just came clean that he also never trusted her and her other male friend. she's been best friends with this guy for years. she'd tell me that he would be uncomfortable if she talked about any male friends, so she keeps them on the down low.

but when it comes to his close female friends, he thinks it's fine and that there's nothing wrong with having a good friendship with girls, which includes his ex. my sister doesn't doubt or complain.

he's a nice guy and all, and we've even hung out a few times, but my sister and i are just recently witnessing another side to him. i think she deserves better instead of someone doubting her because i know my sister is smart and strong. he is her first serious relationship and she's trying to save something that only she would work hard for to keep and tries to satisfy his demands. if they end up together, she may see less and less of her friends unless supervised by him.

she'd ask me advice all the time, what advice do i give her next time she asks? Advice
She needs to have a gentle, loving conversation with her boyfriend.

She should tell him that she needs to have the same rights and privileges to socialize with people of the other sex as he does. Then she needs to go ahead and do it.

If he can't handle it, he is a weak person and doesn't deserve her. She should not end up in the hands of this manipulative guy.

She should give him some more chances to get rid of his jealousy but if he doesn't then she should say goodby to him.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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