He's Got Another Woman on the Side

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend give me his password to use on his cell phone account. I found the password was also for his voicemail, I check his voicemail and heard another woman saying how she miss him and love him. I let him know that I check his voicemail, he said he knew I would. I ask was there anything going on, he no and I'm the one he love.

But check the message again the female saying "Baby I got your message I love you and miss you too". Which mean he has had contact with her.

I would like to know should I just leave this relationship alone? Because he lied or is I'm just a jealous person. Please Help

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RomanceClass.com Advice
It definitely seems that he has another woman he is at least leading on, if she is calling and saying she loves him, and he is staying in contact with her. He obviously hasn't told you who this woman is or what this is all about. The fact that he gave you access to that area sort of says that he WANTED you to know about her, so that he wasn't hiding her any more. He probably felt guilty about it but just couldn't come out and admit it.

Definitely you always deserve to be the ONE and ONLY love in your boyfriend's life. That is the whole point of being the girlfriend. And you deserve having honesty, trust and loyalty in your relationship. It is NOT being jealous if your boyfriend is off spending time with another woman and encouraging her love. It is asking for simple honor.

I would sit down with him and have a talk. I have suggestions for that here -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/hardtalk.asp

Tell him that you care for him and that he is always the primary person in your life. That you do not encourage others to love you or give your love away to others. And then ask him about this other woman - exactly who she is, exactly when they met, exactly how she is in his life. If he is honest and open with you and the response seems reasonable ("old friend from long ago that likes me") then of course you should have already known about her!! You can always offer to have dinner with both of them to finally meet this long lost friend, and at dinner make it clear that you are the girlfriend and that while it's OK for them to chat, you of course should know when this is going on.

But if he can't share about her and refuses to allow you two to meet, then I would break up with him. If he is capable of this level of lying, there is no way you can trust him with your life and heart.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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