Revenge on My Sister
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old FemaleME AND MY EX GOT BACK TOGETHER AFTER 7 MONTHS. I TOOK HIM TO MEET MY SISTER AND TURNS OUT THEY LIKE EACH OTHER. I FOUND OUT THEY WHERE TALKING AND FLIRTING WITH EACH OTHER SO I BROKE IT OFF. NOW MY SISTER IS DATING HIM AND I REALLY WANT HIM BACK OR GET BACK AT THEM WHAT SHOULD I DO?
RomanceClass.com AdviceLife can be really slimy sometimes, and this sort of thing happens all too often. Your ex often ends up with someone that you know and trust, because people all hang out in the same small groups. So while this really hurts a lot, at least know that you're not alone. Most of us have gone through something really similar at least once in our lives.
For him to have actively been flirting with your sister WHILE dating you is out of line. For your sister to have encouraged this flirting was also out of line. Both of them were being extremely selfish and not honoring you or your commitment. As far as revenge goes, people who are able to cheat like that are rarely content just with cheating once. As soon as their interest in each other begins to wane, they will once again start flirting with others and do the exact same thing to each other - and hopefully it will be very painful for them both!! Maybe that'll teach them a lesson about why cheating is bad.
But in the meantime, there's a saying - "The Best Revenge is Living Well". One of the things that people like that are most sensitive to is being "The Best". They hop from girlfriend to girlfriend (or boyfriend to boyfriend) always wanting the best for themselves instead of caring about feelings or emotions. So rub it in to them that they are NOT the happiest people in the world. Sure, they have each other - some solace that is, they each have a person capable of cheating. And your sister probably has some normal sibling rivalry and is doing that "Hah, I got the boy SHE wanted" stuff. So show them that they are wrong!!
Reall pour yourself, heart and soul, into being happy. Take long bubble baths. Do whatever hobby you really love. Go out with friends and have a ton of fun. Show them that you are SO much happier now than you ever were before. Don't be nasty about it - that would show them that they can still hurt you. Instead, be really SWEET about it. Say things like, "Jeez, how nice, you guys are hanging out. Well, got to see you, me and my friends are going out to the movies and dancing!!" And go strolling out in your best clothes.
Your sister will begin to think, "Hey, she didn't even want this guy, and now I'm stuck with a guy she got rid of!" No sister wants to have hand-me-downs. Your sister will also think, "Jeez, I am stuck with this guy, and she gets to go out and flirt and date with whoever she wants!" And the ex will think, "Jeez, when she dumped me I thought she'd be miserable, missing me. But she doesn't even miss me at all!" No guy likes to think they can be dumped and not even thought about. But the more you show him that you don't care about him any more, that he doesn't mean anything to you, the more it will bother him.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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