Very Confused Dont know what to do

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male

I have been together with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now. A month ago she started to get very distant, feeling uncomfortable with me hugging or holding her hand let alone anything else. We spoke and she told me she has been unhappy for more or less one and a half of the almost 3 years.

She is angry with me for various things such as calling her chubby when she asked if she was fat, I didnt mean it and didnt know that it was a golden rule to lie and tell her shes not.

We argued quite often and usually i wouldnt listen as the arguments werent that impoirtant in my eyes anyway. She took them alot more serious than me and i only know that now.

She doesnt know whether she loves me. She says she used to and that she thought I was the one at one point but doesnt know anymore.

I went to a party with her a few nights ago and we had an argument so i left her alone. After a while I went to find her and I found her sitting with a guy, a complete stranger holding his hand and telling him about our problems.

I stood infront of her and she imidiately moved her hand like she knew she was in the wrong.

We had another argument and she stormed off, went back to that guy. They spent the night together, she admitted hugging him only when i asked specifically what happened.

We both very confused now because im angry at her for doing that.

She has always said that if i loved her I wouldnt have done what i did, but then why did she do that?

I love her more than anything and everything and wish so much i could go backj in time and make things right, but I cant.

What should we do? She doesnt know if she wants to be with me because of how I treated her, i should have been there for her.

Will time heal the pain?

Please give me some advice on what I should do, I desperately dont want to loose her.

Thanks Advice
As you said you can't go back in time.

So that leaves you with the present to deal with (using history to help).

Think hard about what she told you that bothered her and try to apologize for each of them. Then promise you will work very hard on paying more attention to her feelings.

Tell her you want to increase communications, build trust again, and be more affectionate.

If she sees you are trying hard she may respond to you.

Hope so! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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