My boyfriend's ex-wife calls constantly

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have just recently broken up with my boyfriend. Everything in the relationship was good except for his ex-wife calling him pretty much every day. She doesn't want him back and is living in a different state near her family where she has a new job and is buying her own house. But she is a very shy insecure person but was also very controlling in their marriage. Apparently over a year since the separation she is still having a hard time adjusting to her new life and meeting people and feeling good about herself. But her constant calling made me so jealous and angry. I wanted to be understanding and compassionate but I just couldn't do it. It felt so threatening to me even though he has told me a million times that he just wants to be a friend to her because she is having a hard time adjusting to her new life. I saw it as an emotional bond between them that is keeping our relationship form growing. Now I am thinking that it was a petty irrational jealousy keeping our love form growing. Thye didn't even have a normal marriage and there is no sexual attraction. My ex-husband cheated on me and I have some insecurity issues from my youth. Was this all okay and I just lost a great relationship because I couldn't open my heart and give things a chance to evolve and develop on their own?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
With your background, it is understandable why you were threatened by his ex-wife's constant calling.

And, yes, you did give up a great relationship because you couldn't deal with it.

If you want to try again, tell him that she can only call twice a week and for a short chat. Also, see a professional counselor to get some more help.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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