He always closes up

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
The guy I've been dating for about two months never talks to me when he's worried about something. I tell him everything and it seems like he doesn't trust me. I've mentioned it to him and he seems even more distant then. He's said it's because of his past, and his mom doesn't even want us dating. How can I get him to open up and trust me? I want to help but can't. He always says he doesn't want me to worry about 'his' problems but then I worry even more. Help

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Your b/f is not used to sharing his feelings.

Tell him that you are a couple and that means sharing problems and that they are not "his" problems but "your" problems. He may feel a lot of anger or hurt stored up inside him and maybe is afraid to share them. He may be afraid that he will be too emotional and he has trouble expression emotions.

Pay attention and see if he is comfortable sharing good feelings. If he isn't then that would suggest that he can't show any emotions. Otherwise try to work on bad feelings. Take something really simple that you know is small enough that he may be willing to talk. Make the discussion brief so he knows he can trust you not to pester him for a lot more bad emotion talk. If you get him to break through his wall don't try for more right away.

If his problem is severe enough he may need professional counseling to help him get over it.


Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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