I kissed my married ex, and then...

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
This is a follow up to "I kissed my married ex, now what!" I followed the advice given and tried to forget about it. This worked for about 3 weeks. During that time my ex's wife found out that we had gone for a drive and asked if anything happened. I told her no, and that the drive was a one time thing so he could talk without our son hearing. I told him she had called and asked questions and we agreed that nothing like that would happen again. Then, the week after New Years, he drove by my house late at night and I was outside. He drove around the block and came into my garage and kissed me, saying he hadn't gotten a New Years kiss. From there more has happened, both physically and emotionally. While neither of us wants to get together for an actual relationship, we do enjoy long phone conversations, flirting and occasional physical encounters. We are not in love, and have no expectations of one another, except that this remains between us. I no longer have any relationship with his wife, due to her anger at me over a discussion about her role as a step-parent not giving her legal parental rights. Perhaps the end of our friendliness has made it easier for me to enter into the affair. In my mind, our sexual encounters have as little meaning as if we got together and played basketball. It's just fun. What does this mean? Does it mean I have no respect for marriage, or just for his wife, or for myself?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
It would be difficult to say that you had respect for her or the marriage.

Respect for yourself... that's a tough one, you will have to figure that out yourself by thinking whether you feel guilty, dirty, or shameful. If you don't have those feelings then your basketball analogy is a good one.

Take good care of yourself! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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