Jealous when my bf looks at other girls...

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am 29 years old.... It's not like I am not attractive but, I am jealous over other women. Ever since I moved into my boyfriends home around Dec of 2006, I became Jealous! It is ruining our relationship. If it doesn't stop it will end it. If he watches T.V and a female is present on the screen I feel the anxiety build and I will say something like "Did you get a good look?" If we are out and about I am purposely looking at his eyes to see if he is checking out the ladies. I do not like to go any where just so I can prevent him from looking at other girls. I don't even like watching movies fearing the sex scenes or attractive women, afraid he is googling over them in his mind. In the beginning of our relationship he use To own several porn movies.I asked him to get rid of them... he later said he had but then I found out he was still watching them but hiding it or lying to me about not having them and watching it. Second we would watch t.v and he would make comments on ho nice the girls butt or breast were out of no where. I told him it bothered me and he has not done it since and he has not watched the porn. I am still jealous and can't get it out of my head.

Please Help, THANKS :D

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RomanceClass.com Advice
You are in a hard situation.

There are people who call themselves "people watchers." But they always seem to be watching members of the opposite sex. Your boyfriend actually doesn't sound that bad to me. Sort of a ho hum typical male who likes the shape of women. Don't you like to look at men sometimes? Or has jealousy killed that too?

Fighting jealousy is very difficult. Whenever it raises its ugly head, tell it to go away and not bother you. Say that your bf loves you and that's good enough for you. Do this a hundred times and the jealousy will give up and stop trying to bug you because it isn't working. You will no longer get that icky jealous feeling.

Trust is very important to beating jealousy. Take a look at this website:
http://www.coping.org/growth/trust.htm

Also look at our website on jealousy:
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682

Hope some of this works for you. Jealousy sucks.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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