Despite his spoken assurance of faithfulness, he still answers her phone calls.........

Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
Having history of sour relationships, I decided to break my habitual preference of “bad boys.” Over a year ago, I accepted a date with a nondescript, ordinary, but well established and highly admired man. The major stipulation I applied to the relationship was to be honest to me, no lies, and tell the truth. When his listless marriage ended (prior to us meeting), he embarked on a dangerous liaison with his daughter’s best friend’s married mother. He stated that she made the advances and “who would turn down sex after being without for so long?” Ever since we have been exclusively seeing one another, she continues to call him.

At first he stated that “this woman” would not leave him alone. She would come with her husband to my former place of employment (a bar). When I would answer calls from her, she would hang up then call back. One time I answered, she hung up and I redialed the number and literally blasted her. The calls stopped. We separated for eight days in March and within this last month, I have now discovered they had numerous telephone conversations late at night. Since reuniting, he has told me about her calling him but I have found out that there have been times that he hasn’t told me about. In the past, he has even called her unbecoming names and told me that she does not mean a thing to him. The majority of the time, he did not take her calls, but the times he does, he gives plausible explanations (daughter/daughter issues and “Are those cows out yours?”). But yet he continues to speak with her. Is he still carrying on a sexual relationship with this intrusive adulteress? Or is it really just about the girls and cows?

Our relationship is for the most part is wonderful, adventurous, and full of affection. He has met my immediate family and has grown to like my children immensely. He vows that he will never remarry and he refuses to say he loves me. He will begin to say something and when I ask “What?” he says he “forgets.” He has told me that he has tried so hard not to love me. His actions for the most part have proven to be the opposite. Our separation last month was due to the fact that I refused to continue in a relationship where the other individual isn’t completely honest. Do I continue to build a relationship with this man knowing that there is a potential impediment of devastation from a meddlesome sinner?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Since you don't trust him, my advice is to stop seeing him.

You can't build a good relationship with someone you don't trust.

To learn more about trust, please see:

http://www.coping.org/growth/trust.htm

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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