Nothing ever gets resolved, I don't want it to end..

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. She got into a horrible car wreck one week into us actually dating. I stuck through that whole situation while she was disabled and in a wheel chair. I've been by her side everytime things start to go sour. She's broke up with me 3 times in a year, not for long though, to see if there was something there with her ex. I'm passed that now because I know she's a loyal , trustworthy woman. Lately I have been bitching and complaining about the same crap everyday. She says that's something she cannot handle, which I completely understand. I've told her numerous times that it was over, and I just feel like nothings there anymore, but inside I DOnT really mean it, until she takes it 2 heart, and tells me that she thinks it wont ever be the same. I'm very worried that she has no hope for us anymore. I feel like I have royally messed up this time. Were going through alot right now, and I want to be able to handle things in a positive manner through these rough times so she'll know I can handle anything with her. I do feel like she's the one, I'm just not handle situations very adult- like. I want to bring positive energy back into this relationship, where I wont have to complain about the same stuff over and over again on a daily basis. It has been so flip-floppy lately, I hate it! I know I want her, and I feel like she's the one. We just need some positive feedback. Thanks for your time! Advice
I can give you some general suggestions, but the bottom line is that you two need to get some couples counseling from a licensed therapist. Your situation is tough, but probably easily solvable will some good in-person help.

While you are setting up an appointment...

Whenever one of you feels hurt say "OUCH" letting your partner know that they said something hurtful. They should say "sorry" and restart.

Another thing to do is to restate what the other person said so that you both can be sure that you understand each other.

Finally, set aside time in your day for discussing things that have been troubling you. Be on good behavior and keep remembering your love for her.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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