she is driving me insane

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
my girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now off and on. She met this guy who i knew was no good and i told her that if she ever hung out with him i would leave her. I trusted her, but little did i know she hung out with him a couple times and didint tell me. I was furious when i found out and i broke up with her. even though i was still mad I trusted that she didint do anything wrong and she she didint yet.. she cried and wrote me notes saying she was sorry for everything and she loves me and only wants me. I beleaved her and trusted her. then 2 months after this she started acting strange and i knew something was up. i asked her and she said nothing, but i knew better. a couple days later we got in a fight and she told me that she slept with the guy twice. I didint beleave it, i thought she was just saying it to piss me off. it killed me i never felt so hurt in my life because this girl was my first true love. I didint speak to her for a month and she called me 20 times a day and all night i never answered because i was afraid of what she would say. I still loved her no matter what and i took her back with her promising that she would never talk to him again. but then i found out that she still talked to him and even asked him for a ride, knowing this would make me mad. i feel like she involves him in every part of her life, everytime i think of her i think of him and it kills me inside. I think of them being inimate and my stomach turns to nots. so i know it was wrong but i cheated back. but i have completely exed the girl i cheated with out of my life. i havent talked or seen or even talked about for months but she still seems to bring the other guy up. she thinks its ok to still talk to him but i disagree and we fight over it constantly I love her and want to be with her but i cant with him still being in my head all the time am i jealous or am i non trusting im not sure... please help

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Being jealous and non-trusting pretty much go hand-in-hand so you are both of those things.

Since you love her and want to be with her, you have to find a way to keep him out of your mind. Unfortunately, she keeps mentioning him and even talks to him. This leads to fighting and hurt feelings and certainly doesn't keep him out of your mind.

You've already told her that you don't want to hear about him and you don't want her talking to him. You even say that you can't be with her with him still being in your head all the time.

Seems you need to make it clear to her that you can't stay with her so long as she talks to him and about him. Let her have one last conversation so she can
explain to him what is going on.

Then stick to you guns.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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