I think he overreacted! Will he ever come back?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My ex broke up with me less than a week ago. Naturally, I already miss him terribly and want him back!!We were together for about 4 months, and he left me on Christmas eve.

He's had a lot of tragedies happen in his life during the time that we were together. His cousin/best friend passed away, he got kicked out of school, he got into a terrible car accident and almost lost his life, he was also arrested, and he got laid off from his job. He now has a new job, but because of his over-achiever personality he's been working over time almost every day (Works from 6 a.m. to about 11 p.m. every night, including weekends). To make a long story short, when he is stressed out he tends to like to be alone and not communicate with anyone, and when a person tries to reach out to him during stressful times he lashes out in the WORST attitude.

Lately, he had been giving me attitude whenever I tried to call him to see how he was doing. On Christmas eve, I texted him to let him know that I was tired of him giving me attitude. I told him that whenever he was ready to talk, he could call me, because I was done trying. He texted me right back and told me he was alone on christmas eve, and he was completely done with me. I think he was overreacting. As I said, when he's stressed he lashes out when he doesn't get his space.

After he texted me, I called him repeatedly SOBBING, apologizing profusely, and begging him to rethink his decision. I know this was a BAD move, because I know he hates desperation and clingyness, but I didn't know how else to handle it. He answered the phone each time I called, but he finally said, "I can't do it, I told you from day one that once you cross me I'm completely done and turned off". I'm guessing that he left me because he felt that I was being very insensitive.

Just 2 weeks before all of this, the day I went home for Christmas break, he looked me in my eyes and told me that he loved me and that I meant a lot to him. We had a strong 3 month bond before we had gotten together, and he had already been telling me that he loved me even BEFORE we made it official.

The last thing he said to me was that he wanted to be alone and stay alone. Is it possible that in time he will rethink his decision and come back to me?

All my friends and even my parents seem to think that he will come around, but my friends and family don't know him....literally. He is EXTREMELY STUBBORN.

We're both 19, and I know we're very young, but he really is the best boyfriend I ever had. I even consider him to be my first real relationship. I would really like him for him to come back.

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Sorry, but I think you are right and that he is a hopeless case... as you said EXTREMELY STUBBORN.

And, given his extraordinary work hous when is there any time for you to see him and find a way back into his heart. He is ruining his present by working so much. But, I think you would agree that he isn't going to become a laid back guy in the near future.

Your friends and parents don't know him like you do and I think it is wishful thinking on their part to advise you that he will come back.

My advice is to make it clear to him that you are done with him. This will be painful for you but it has to be done. And, who knows, maybe that is just what he needs to hear for him to come back to you.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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