What are my chances?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
re: "http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/advice/15868".

now, D goes to a faraway college, and Z goes to my college. so sometimes, i hang out with Z (nothing's going on between us, we're just friends, she has a boyfriend actually).

1 day, we were talking about the time that i asked D out. Z said that i came on to D a little "too strong", which i agreed because i never really flirted with D (or anyone) and asking her all of sudden probably freaked her out.

Z also said that i'm kind of "too old" for D, which startled and confused me because D and Z are the same age and i went out with Z when she was 13 (i'm 4 years older). i actually did thought our age would be an issue but Z confirmed me that 4 years isn't a big deal. now they're 18, so why is age a problem now? is Z saying this to prevent me from going after D?

Z also reminded me that D is still not into "dating nor relationships", which i believed because D never showed any signs nor interests toward any guys (that i know of). i guess this is what i find really attractive about D. however, i also find it intimidating because she seems really difficult to approach. i guess that's why i failed when i asked her out.

Z also mentioned that another guy also likes D (don't know who), which really freaked me out because any other guy that knows D have a better chance than me. I rarely talk to D now but I toss in a "whatcha doin'?" once in a while.

in the end, Z said she approved of me for D.

though the only contact i have with D is AIM, she still acts like her usual self towards me: all happy and confident, as if i asking her out never happaned.

next week, i'm thinking of paying her D a visit. so the question is what should I do or what can I do to provoke my interest towards her? if possible, without being too obvious?

also, what is Z's true intensions? if Z really approves of me, why she tell me all these flaws, my flaws?



RomanceClass.com Advice
Since Z and D are cousins lets assume that they communicate with each other so Z pretty much knows what D is thinking. Z is giving you mixed messages which makes me think that D also has mixed feelings about you.

If you really care about D then you should have been taking action before now and your possible visit. She isn't going to react too well if you show up out of no where and come on too strong. So if you do see her keep it on a low key.

My advice is to not go see her yet but start contacting her regularly on AIM and make her feel good about you. You can test the waters this way. Then see her when she comes back for the holidays. At that time you can try to make an even stronger impression in person.

Meanwhile take whatever Z says with a grain of salt.

Good luck! George









-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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