how do i re kindle our loveeee

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
OK. Me and this guy werenít officially dating but more or less had very strong feelings for each other. We were basically considered exclusive. Sadly 4 or 5 months after we first unexpected romance first started, he talks to me and says I think we should stop what it is we have and forget about the feelings we have for each other. I agreed trying to act totally cool about but really I was completely hurt. As time goes by we still would talk daily and sometimes it would be weird between us and slowly problems started. Well even from the middle romance friends were getting involved and I didnít like it, my friend would consistently go hangout with him alone like it wasnít a big deal and she new it bothered me.

Anyways one night when I wasnít completely normal I hooked up with someone and news travelled fast and ended up to this guy, right the next day he shows up on my friends door step to get information he gets what he wanted and comes to my house to tell at me. I lied to him I felt it wasnít any of his business since he clearly said lets forget about having feelings for each other.

We didnít talk for days until I eventually admitted it to him because I hate lying. He was even more furious that we didnít talk for 1 week or so. As time passed we started building our friendship, having awkward weird moments at times because I think we are both angry about how things have ended between us. He sends mixed signals and everyone sees it but himself.

I didnít txt him in 1 week and I tried keeping my distance hoping to get over him, but that just resulted in us getting into a fight and him accusing me of playing games, just because I didnít text a ďfriendĒ as how he wanted our relationship to become I was playing games? I didnít understand. But we talked and during this conversation he mentions to me that even though he ended things the first time, he still really liked me and I think that the way I acted and hooked up with someone made him look at me differently and changed his mind about me. I donít think itís fair because he told me to forget and letís be friends.

Also during this talk he goes I donít know maybe you should just go find another boyfriend or something. Basically in other words me and him have been through a lot and most of the problems came after he ended things and when my friend would always go hangout with him, before that we were happy and I was falling hard for him. Im still in love with him and we still talk I donít want to move on we always have an amazing time. I put myself down everyday for having been the problem to why we didnít work out as he has said to others that ive changed and I did and showed him a different side of him he didnít like. He needs to get over it because I never judge him. What should I do to re kindle our love we once had?? I still have fate and hope that he does still like me something is telling me not to let go!!!!!!

You two have a lot of baggage to work though if you really want to be together. I would start by coming clean completely. Tell him you want to try again, but with a completely fresh slate. No faults, no blame and no 'keeping score' of who did what in the past.

If he does not agree to this, then it really will be time to move on. It's a more than fair way to start fresh and build a new romance. Good luck!

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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