High School Sweetheart

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I met my girlfriend in high school when we were 16 and we have only ever been intimate with each other. We have been together for 8 years (lived with for 3).

Recently she has slept with someone else who has been hanging around her for the past few months. She seems to regret what she did, and I do still love her.

How do I ever begin to trust her again? How do I stop reliving the event over and over again? I have been throwing up because of the stress. When I wake up its the first thought in my head. Its weird to me knowing that she gave herself to someone else so easily. I find it unsettling that while shes my one and only I'm not hers anymore. The image I have of her being my high school sweetheart is tainted and destroyed. I have no idea what to feel or what to do.

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RomanceClass.com Advice
With our modern society it is extremely hard to go through life having only ever touched one other person without wondering what all the other options are like. It's certainly possible but it's a fairly rigorous effort akin to a priest never even thinking about what it would be like to be with a woman.

Yes, she made a mistake, and she regrets it. Now she knows. Hopefully she now realizes that you really are the one for her and she's more settled in it.

It's like the Amish families. If they simply locked their kids inside, the kids would always wonder what the outside world was like. They would always feel restless. So the Amish let their kids go out and explore the outside world. They highly encourage them to. That way when the kids come back those kids know for sure they want this lifestyle. They don't wonder. They know completely. They have seen the alternatives and they choose this life.

You should feel more certain than ever, now, that your girlfriend has chosen your life.

Fantasies are nice - but they rarely hold out in reality. Reality is messy, and the only way to get through it is to be able to handle challenges. Things break, things crack, and either you learn how to heal them or you don't get far.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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