He's Living with Another Girl, Is He Cheating?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Everything with my boyfriend of 16 months has been going perfectly, We live 2 hours apart and make time for each other on weekends.

Lately he has been too busy to see me, so I have been going to his place every weekend.

He has also employed a girl that lives at his place.

I feel that he doesn't love me as much as he did and doesn't wan't to make time for me, and a few little signs that maybe he is cheating on me.

Am I worried about nothing?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
It's really, really strange that he has another girl living with him. And not only that, but just when this other girl starts living in his house, he's "too busy" for you and doesn't feel like spending much time with you. It seems that his need for attention and female companionship are being met elsewhere. Hmmmmmmm.

Living 2 hrs apart is a difficult thing and a long distance relationship takes a firm commitment from both parties. It requires the willpower to resist the 'local temptations' that are always around. It sounds like he's not resisting very well.

You definitely should NOT be doing all the driving or work here. It really seems like he is getting the 'best of both worlds' - getting someone for day to day companionship and then a 'special attention' visit whenever he wants it too. But it's completely unfair to you that YOU are putting effort into a long distance relationship when he is not.

I would sit down and talk with him - info on that is here -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/hardtalk.asp

and explain that you guys BOTH need to be fully honest. That you have lots of other options locally that you COULD persue if he's not 100% committed to you. But for you to get 10% of his attention because the rest of the time he's distracted with his housemate, that's completely unfair. You deserve a guy who is really paying attention to you - not someone who looks up when you drive out, but whose eyes wander the rest of the time. At that point either he can 'fess up and apologize, or he can swear that he IS giving you 100% and you can then address if you "feel like he is" or if you're feeling like he isn't.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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