Trusting Him with His Ex

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Hi, im back....i just wanted to say thanks for the advice you gave me before about how i should get my boyfriend back. Well i got him back....but the only problem is that his ex has been calling him for what ever reason. now this is the same girl he was with the last time i wrote you on how to get him back.

well i worked my magic and took what was mine.....and he doesnt care that much about her...i trust him sometimes, but she is the one that cant be trusted ...

should i worry, or let her just keep making a fool of herself...because i dont want to make a big deal out of it and make him think i dont trust him?

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RomanceClass.com Advice
On one hand, you don't want to make a big deal about her, because if you put a lot of importance on what she is doing, so will he. On the other hand, you don't want to leave a situation that is potentially destructive to the relationship going on.

You need to sit down and talk with him - I have advice on that here -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/hardtalk.asp

Explain that you know he feels badly for this other girl. And that you sympathize. But that she is sort of turning into a stalker and that she isn't moving on with her own life. That in a way he is 'leading her on' by letting her keep alive this hope that he will come back to her. That he's not doing it on purpose - he wants to be nice - but by allowing this to continue he sort of keeps her hopes alive and keeps her from moving on.

Tell him that it's time for some honesty. He has to just tell this ex that it's over, that he's really sorry but that it's time for her to find a new object of affection. All this time and energy she spends on him SHOULD be spent on a new boyfriend! Yes, it's flattering that she still calls him. But it's selfish for him to keep in a way encouraging these calls to feel that flattery. He needs to make a stand, ask her to please not call any more, so that she can move on and find herself a new boyfriend.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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