He Cheated On Me to Prove A Point

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend of 6 months just broke up about 2 weeks ago. I miss him so much and everything about him. There is nothing that goes on daily that doesn't make me think about him and either smile bc the thought is funny or cry bc I miss him even more.

We had an odd break up...he cheated on me to prove a point. I had always thought that he was cheating on me which he never was. I would always ask his friends are you sure he's not and stuff like that. So he had seen one of my friends out one night and I guess got fed up and decided to cheat on me.

We were living together so when he came home at 6:30 in the morning I pretended that I was asleep. I had already known that he cheated on me so I didn't want to say anything and hoped that it was just a nightmare. I also wanted to ask him about it and see what he would say so I waited until I slept it off. So when I woke up I asked him about it and of course he denyed it.

I did not believe him at all. Then he went on and said well I was going to break up with you today anyways ....he couldn't look at me and say this at all. All he said was that he didn't want to hurt me and that he never thought that he would be telling me this. He moved back home which is an hour away so I don't see him at all anymore. I talk to him as much as I can without calling as much and text messaging him and stuff like that.

I miss him so much and other then bickering fighting all the time we had a really good relationship. and I miss him and that sooo much...what do I do

RomanceClass.com Advice
It really sounds like this relationship you had was seriously flawed. You are remembering the shiny, great times - which is normal. But you've already said that you were incredibly jealous, you guys fought all the time, and that he had such little respect for you that he both cheated on you and lied to you - and then abandoned you. None of these things are acts of people who really care for each other. There is no "of course he lied to me". Lying is the worst betrayal any person can do to another. If you can't trust the person you are partnered with, how can you go with them through life?

Yes, you miss him - that is a normal part of breaking up. It can take months to get over a breakup, so give yourself the time to do so. But don't idolize your relationship as being a perfect one. A great relationship involves two people who respect each other, trust each other and and are fully honest with each other. You shouldn't have been mistrusting him the entire time, fighting with him and he should NEVER have betrayed you like that. Those are all solid signs that the relationship was meant to be.

Give yourself a few weeks to get over the relationship - I have lots of tips here -


and then look for someone that you get along well with. When you find a guy that you are really good friends with, that you trust and who trusts you, you will be amazed at just how much better a relationship can be.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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