Roller Coaster Relationship

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
i really like this kid that i went out with and while we were going out and i didnt really like him that much. after we broke up i really started liking him and we were all over each other. now i seen him and it mixed up old feelings and i like him again.

the problem is he can be an a$$ hole at times like when i seen him he wasnt very nice but i still like him a lot. we dont live in the same area so we dont go to the same school so its hard for me to try to win him over but i can always talk to him online but im scared to IM him.

i really really like i can never stop thinking about him and i dont know what to do. please help me!!!! Advice
I really have to warn you - it's easy to build fantasies up about people and hope you can "change them" to change their bad habits. But if this guy is a jerk to you just when you're COURTING - not even dating - then he is going to be a WORSE JERK to you when he has you full time. People don't just "unjerkify". Remember, he's usually on his best behavior (the best he can be, at least) when he is just getting to know someone. So if he is already being a jerk, that just means that the times to come are going to get WORSE.

I'm guessing he must be cute or something for you to keep pursuing him. Believe me, a cute guy is NEVER, EVER worth the hassle if he is going to mistreat you. You would do MUCH better finding a guy that is fun to be with that you really like. To just "take" this guy's jerky behavior because you think somehow he'll change is setting yourself up for a WORLD of hurt.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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