I am Trying to Get Him Back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old FemaleI broke up with my ex 1 year ago. After broke up, he said we can be a good friend. But now, when i call him, he refuse to talk to me and his new gf will start to sms me "be stronger and forget the past".
What is that? I am not going to disturb their relationship. Just contact him as a friend. But actually deep inside my heart, i still very love him and if there is a chance, i want to get him back. And i can't lie, sometime i call him because i so miss him.
What makes me so sad is when he pick up my phone sometime, the first word he will say is "Yes, whats again?"
I can feel something there. I am not sure what feeling is that. And since we broke up, we never see each other. And when i request to meet him, he refuses unless he bring his new gf.
Please give me some advice to deal with this situation and how to forget him? I wonder, why we can't be a good friend. Thank you so much..;)
RomanceClass.com AdviceYou are trying to lie and manipulate your way back into his life and he and his girlfriend are not buying it. You should be thankful that they aren't! If the only way you could get him back was to do these underhanded maniuplations, he would hate you for the rest of his life. So much for friendship!!
First off, you ADMIT that your aim here is NOT to be friends with him but to get him back, that you call him because you miss him. It would be VERY obvious to them both that you were up to that! He has a new girlfriend, he has a new life. For you to actively try to harm his relationship isn't very nice nor friendly. So they, very naturally, want to protect what they value. They are going to keep you away as long as your intention is damage.
If you really WERE just trying to be friends and support him in his new life it would be one thing. There are millions of exs out there who have very happy, long term friendships! But you are NOT. You are actively hoping to destroy the happiness they have. And then you are suprised when they don't want you to do that.
You really need to take a LONG break from those two and find your own happiness. You are NOT going to find it by stamping all over their lives. I have a ton of tips on my site on rebuilding your life - finding things YOU enjoy, doing things with your friends, finding contentment in your life. Sure, maybe someday you can be friends with him again. But it won't be until you are happy and your aim isn't to destroy the happiness he has *already* found.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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