Regaining my Ex
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Maleis it a possibility for my ex-girlfriend and i to get back together we were together for two years and now have been apart for a month she now has another boyfriend. she still says that she loves me and i deeply love her two.
we split up because we were always arguing about stupid little things and i was always mad about things that didnt used to bother me but now did. we also didnt have very much time for each other cause of my job and school now i have a new schedule and will have plenty of time for her.
do you think there is a chance we will get back together? all i ever do is think about her and just wish that she was always in my arms i am going crazy without her. i just need your thoughts please. thank you.
RomanceClass.com AdviceIf she was with you for 2 years and then immediately got a new boyfriend after only a month, that is NOT a good thing. She barely got through breaking up with you and she had a new guy? It really means she was wanting to be done with you LONG before the actual break-up, and that all of those fights and such were a sign of her being unhappy. Yes, she misses the good parts of your relationship, but there was something seriously wrong in the relationship that you guys never talked about or addressed.
If you really did deliberately break up her current relationship, then you would now be "to blame" for ruining her happiness with this other guy and believe me, ANY fight you guys got into, she would remember that. She would think, "Why am I here fighting with THIS GUY when I should be with the other guy who I loved?" I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying that is what ends up happening.
Yes, she loves you. But SHE chose to go off with another guy and now she is using you as a safety net. You're her "backup" in case anything goes wrong with her main guy. And the fact that she COULD use you as a backup means she could do that to ANY GUY - i.e. that she probably had a "backup" when she was dating YOU. Maybe in fact this guy she is dating right now.
I would really, really take a break from her. The way you look at things after a breakup is NOT normal which is why you are really supposed to not date people so soon after breaking up. She AND you are in "full rebound". Give yourself time to be happy on your own, do things you love, see movies you love. Spend time with friends. I have lots of advice on getting through a breakup here -
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/54875
after a few months, undoubtedly you will have found a new girl who is MUCH better than this one is. And you'll be so happy with your new girl, NOT fighting, that you will look back and wonder how you could have thought yourself happy with your ex.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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