Did Sex Ruin Our Relationship?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old FemaleMY BEST FRIEND AND I WERE EVER SO CLOSE,WE USED TO SLEEP TOGETHER AND NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN BUT ONE NIGHT ALCOHOL TOOK CONTOL AND WE ENDED UP HAVING SEX. ITS HAPPEND A FEW OTHER TIMES AFTER THIS.
RECENTLY A FRIEND OF HIS TOLD HIM THAT HE KNEW WE WERE SLEEPING TOGETHER AND THAT I WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM, IM NOT SURE IF I DO OR NOT. ALSO RECENTLY HE LEARNED HE HAS CANCER, SINCE STARTING HIS TREATMENT AND BEING TOLD THAT I LOVE HIM HE DOSENT WANT ANYTHING MUCH TO DO WITH ME ANYMORE.
I MISS HIM SO MUCH AND WANT EVERYTHING TO GO BACK TO NORMAL BEFORE THE SEX, WILL WE EVER BE CLOSE AGAIN
RomanceClass.com AdviceI don't think the sex affected your relationship. You were already great friends and had done it a few times. Cancer is something that can end your entire life. Someone with cancer often pulls away from loved ones so they won't miss him when he's gone. I really think it's the cancer that is causing him to pull back here, not the sex.
You can NEVER "go back" in a relationship. People don't un-age! Would you want to date him when he was 2 years old? You need to move forward, mature, and grow together. He is going through a life changing and indeed life threatening experience here. He is having to grow up in a hurry. Show him that you ARE a great friend, that you are there for the long haul and will stick by his side. He is in a lot of pain and fear right now. Show him that you will not be pushed away, that you are there for him when it really matters.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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