Remembering an Old Love

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I've been involved with a man for 7 months. We split up three weeks ago. I found out around Christmas that he was emailing someone else and planning on meeting her. We worked through that and he decided that he wanted to "commit" himself to me. I did not ask for any kind of commitment from him, but we were a couple as he liked to point out.

Two weeks later we split up. He sends an email saying he wasn't ready to "commit". He can't seem to make up his mind. I know that he is already seeing someone else. I have written him and asked if we could be friends. He says yes. I am hoping that eventually he will find that I am the best and want me back. I have decided to maybe send him a cartoon (and everyone else on my address list) once in a while. No phone calls. Just be kind of there but not really.

What are the chances that maybe when he is ready for a commitment that he will think of me? Has it happened to anyone else? I need some help here. I can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much and I hurt so much. I knew him 20 yrs. ago and had a crush on him then but never acted on it, we both married someone else and I thought that this was our chance to be together. I have never had a relationship that felt so damned right. What happened? Will he come back to me? Should I drop him cold like my friends and family suggest? Help! Advice
I know it's hard to hear, but you guys did give it a shot. You spent 7 months on it and he turned away and started cheating on you. You gave him another chance, and he left again! He's already on to someone new. He really just isn't the guy for you.

It takes a while to get through a breakup, especially with someone that you have built fantasies about for many years. Give yourself time to get over him. You'll move on and find someone who really is right for you.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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