We're Three Years Apart

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
We're three years apart and our parents don't like us talking to each other. They say I'm too young for him and hes to old for me and his mom said if I ever call there again that she would just tell me that he wasn't there when he really is. Now I can't see him or talk to him. What do I do?! I can't get over him! Thanx

RomanceClass.com Advice
It really makes a huge difference how old you both are. When most people marry, they're 3 or more years apart anyway. It's quite normal for a 28 yr old to marry a 25 yr old. Heck, many people who marry are 10 or more years apart in age. But on the other hand, if you're 10 and he is 13, that is a huge difference. The older you get, the less age matters.

Most people start considering the age to be less and less important in high school. It's very, very normal for a high school senior to date a high school freshman. That's a 'maturity level' crossing point I suppose. But if you're not in high school yet, they would have concerns because his needs and mindset as a high schooler are in one arena, and your needs as a not-highschooler are in a different. It's not that this is bad or anything, it's normal! But they're just different.

If that's the case, then I would maintain your friendship and stay close until you are both in high school. If you've shown at that point that you are respectful to each other, talk a lot with each other, and are good together, I would imagine your parents would be really happy that you guys chose each other and not someone that wasn't good for you. Parents do of course want you to find someone and be happy with them :) They just want you to make that decision slowly and carefully and not to have your relationship affect your schoolwork.

So for now, work on the friendship. If you both told your parents that you were staying friends, I can't imagine they'd refuse to let you talk! Friends are really important, especially friends of the opposite sex. If your friendship doesn't affect your schoolwork and gives you and outlet to talk and share, this would be a good thing. And if this friendship lasts until you're both in high school, you will have proven to your parents that you're mature, steady and responsible enough to be great dates.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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