He Keeps Items from his Ex in the House
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating a guy for a year now. His last girlfriend of 4 years was killed in a car accident about 5 years ago. He still has pictures, clothes, and other items in different rooms of his house.
Everything is going great and all of this confuses me. I'm not sure if he has moved on or not. I have mentioned all this to him before but he just states that the items are not in his way so he doesn't mess with them. He is somewhat of a procrastinator.
I know that he loves me. He wouldn't do the things he does if he didn't. I don't want to seem insensitive but I want to know that we are headed in the same direction. How should I handle the situation?
It's not like this girl is going to be in the picture. She can't take him back. Surely you have things in your own room that are from your past. These are items from his past. If he made you burn every single item you owned before you two met, you would consider him to be quite insensitive. So let him have these items. It really doesn't matter.
If you want, do a salvation army run sometime in the next few months. Gather up things of your own from your past and then offer to gather some of her things up too. It really has to be of a "cleaning up the house" mindset though and not a "ditching things from a previous life" mindset. If you honestly are trying to purge anything from his past loves from the world, it's not going to work.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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