I Have Jealous Habits that Need to be Resolved

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been married to my wonderful husband for 3 years now, we've lived together for 4. I have serious jealousy issues inherited from my mother, past failed relationships, and the lack of a father figure. My husband is very understanding and has been helping me work through my issues for as long as we've been together. We talk about them regularly.

I'm tired of burdening him and our relationship with my emotional baggage. My number one issue is controlling my jealousy when he expresses interest in another woman's appearance including figure, face, size,... anything really. He could just say, she's really pretty and for two days, I'm a complete wreck emotionally, feeling ugly inadequate, and vulnerable. Either I blow up with tears and sadness, or I internalize it and start daydreaming of ways I can "make him see how it hurts", or "get him back".

It's terribly unhealthy I know and when we talk about it with each other, I fear it damages our relationship. He desperately wants me to trust him and has worked so hard with me on this for years. I'm sure he's tired of hearing about it and I'm tired of talking about it. Please please please, tell me how to tame this jealousy. I'll do anything to get through this and wipe these awful jealous habits and tendencies from my life.

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RomanceClass.com Advice
Jealousy, as you know, is INCREDIBLY desctructive and can completely demolish even the most loving of relationships. You have to take this just as seriously as you would a major illness and work hard to remove it.

I have an online jealousy course here -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/jealousy/index.asp

I would also really recommend therapy. Therapy isn't about recovering from an abusive parent (necessarily). Therapy is about looking at any serious issue in your life and finding a solution. Even just a few weeks talking to a therapist might give you real one on one solutions to your personal concerns and find a way to get you on the right path to handling them.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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