We Only Want Each Other When We Can't Have Each Other

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I WAS WITH MY EX FOR ABOUT 3 YEARS AND NOW ITS OVER WITH ME AND HIM. ITS BEEN ABOUT 7 MONTHS THAT ME AND HIM HAVENT BEEN TOGETHER AND NOW I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND.

MY EX HATES ME BECAUSE I GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND HE DONT EVEN WANT TO BE MY FRIEND OR SAY HI TO HIM BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID. NOW HE HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND AND IT HURTS ME TO SEE HIM WITH HER AND NOW I FEEL LIKE I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM.

I JUST WISH I COULD GET BACK WITH HIM BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

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RomanceClass.com Advice
You two broke up. If you broke up, there is NO reason your ex should hate you because you dated someone else. That's the whole point of breaking up - that you are now free to date others. If HE had wanted to date you, he should have treated you well and stayed with you. Once you two broke up, it means you ARE going to date others.

For you then to only want others until he has a new girlfriend sounds like you are doing the Forbidden Fruit thing here. You were fine being away from him until someone else had him - and now suddenly you found he was irresistable. You wanted him precisely because someone else had him - even though when you had him before you broke up with him.

I would really spend time away from him and get your bearings straight. If he's capable of hating you because you date someone else, that doesn't sound healthy. And if you are sparked to love him just because someone else has him, that's not really healthy either. Give yourself a month or two of being away from him and being happy on your own. If he was meant to be, he'll come back to you and you to him. But unless you resolve these issues that broke you up in the first place, you'll break up even more quickly the next time around.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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