I Suspect my Boyfriend of Cheating

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I have a situation for you. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year now. I started to hear that when we were going out, a couple months ago, he was with a girl. The thing is I talked to her online (as my boyfriend, on his screen name) and she was talking to him (me) like she wanted to have sex with him. Then a few days later I guess he went to a hotel party that she was at and one of my friends said that she was really drunk and they were in bed together. He had boxers on and she didn't have anything on. But he says that he just stopped by and left. ...but he said my friend probably just said that cause he was in a room by her and it probably looked suspisous.

I don't know what to do. I want to believe my boyfriend because i love him but theres so many signs that are pointing at cheating. it was also a while ago too and i don't know if that should be a factor or not. I'm going crazy because at one point I'll hang out with him and act fun and happy but then i'll think about if he did that and what he wouldve done and i become really sad and angry. I also have depression so i really want to take it easy with all this but i just really need to know the truth.

i feel like he did cheat on me but if he didn't i don't want to throw away what we have. please help me i really need some advice. Thank you

RomanceClass.com Advice
The thing with cheating is that you didn't have what you thought you had - you had a mirage. And clinging to a mirage isn't the best of ideas. It's always nice to dream that things are perfect and dream that you can make it stay that way.

If this guy has girls talking to him about sex and he's going off to parties without you and being seen with strange girls, it just doesn't sound good. Yes, you want to trust your boyfriend. I'm all in favor of reasonable trust. But this is just getting a bit unreasonable here.

I would talk to this girl directly and get the story. Tell her you just want to know the truth, not be angry or anything. And then ask your boyfriend to just tell you the truth too. Obviously he was there and SOMETHING happened. If he's going to keep lying to you, about things in the past, how can you trust him about your future together?

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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