A Married Man is Chasing Me

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been friends with a fellow for a few years now. He is a really sweet man and I care about him alot. The problem is that he is married and I have learned that he has a big crush on me. He calls me and drives by. I've told him that we just have to be friends, but, I cannot get him to understand that. His wife is a sweet lady and I would never say or do anything to hurt her. I don't want to hurt him also because I do care for him as a friend and not as a lover. What should I do?

RomanceClass.com Advice
It happens fairly frequently that someone who gets "bored" will get obsessed with someone else as a way to rescue themselves from that boredom. He should of course be spending time with his wife, finding fun new things to do, rather than using all his feelings up on you!

If you really like him, then it is time to draw back from him, for his own good. He is just building his obsession about you up in his mind every time he sees you. If you call a quit to your meetings for a few weeks, that should make him realize what he's doing. The problem is he will either take the healthy route of talking to his wife again, or the unhealthy one of finding another victim to obsesss over - maybe one with lower morals that will sleep with him. I'd really have him talk to a therapist, if he is actively seeking to cheat on his wife. His wife doesn't deserve that.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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