She Cheated and then Lied About It

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 1 year and 8 months. We are both 18 years old. My girlfriend start hanging out with this guy (J) a few weeks before spring brake. Then Over spring brake she was spending a lot of time with a J. Some examples are on her birthday she left my house early to go over to Jís house even when she saw him earlier that day.

I would call her and she would be with him at his house or he would be over at her house or on the phone with him. She would never call me back. I mean I was on the phone with for like maybe 2 hour during spring brake.

Then When she would came over she was on the phone with him and talking to him like I was not even there.

The Friday during spring brake we made plans to spend time together. I was able to got off work early and I called her and she was over at his house. She said that she would call me later when she was going to come over but she never did. Two hours past and no word from her so I called her cell phone and no answer. Over the next 5 hours I called her like 20 times but no answer. I ever called her house phone but she was not there. I try her one last time at 12:15 but no answer. I was mad and worried at the same time. The next day I call her and she says she was watching a movie with J at his house and her phone was turn all the way down. I ask her why she didnít come over and she said "sorry I was watching a movie with J." Early that week I told her that I was going to Reno with my family.

I want to Reno with my family on Saturday and I came back on Monday. On Monday she came over but it takes her 2 hours and 15 min. to get to my house. When I ask her were she was she says she had to help Jís with something. Then she was on the phone for about 20-min talking to him. I was feeling like I was 2nd place to J.

She left and I called her and she says that our relationship has some problems and that the only way to salve them is to go on a brake. She said brake is to see if she really loved me. It broke my heat. I did a lot of thinking over the next week and It hit me that she was cheating on me. So I told her that it is over. She asked why and I said that you cheated on me and she says she didnít.
I told a lot of people the story and they say she was cheating on me. No one I talked to agrees with her.

Did she cheat on me?
And why does she admit to it?
I don't know if I did the right thing?
Can you Help me Please? Advice
It really does seem pretty clear that she was cheating on you. A relationship is always about respecting your partner and being honest with him. She lied to you repeatedly and then decides to take a break? She was using you as a safety blanket while she "tried out" this J guy - and now she wants to not really break up with you because she still wants you there in case this J guy doesn't work out well with her. That's why she won't tell you the truth. She wants to make sure you are still there for her in case there's a problem with the J guy.

I would call up the J guy, and tell him that he is welcome to have her, because she obviously is someone who cheats on people. If he is happy having a cheating girlfriend, well then maybe they are made for each other and can make each other miserable. But you deserve someone better for yourself.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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