She's Cheating - I Still Love Her

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
We just recently got past our five year anniversary. We are not married but live (together) under the assumption that we are soulmates. The past two years she has been provoking me by staying out till sunrise. This seems to happen on average about twice a week. I have found out recently that she has been talking to another man during the times we used to share together. I am thirty and desire a family but she wants to continue to socialize and complains about my level of income (35k+). I recently told her that our time as soul mates is over. She doesn't disagree but she wish that we could work it out.

All my friends and family think I am stupid for taking this abuse and I have become secluded in my daily life. I truly want to be with her because of the "life" she brings out of me. Now, though, I have grown to resent what she is doing and resent her. Most importantly, I no longer trust her. I personally feel that ending it now will stop what could become worse in the future if we have a family. The problem is that I still love her and see a potential for us to be together. What is it that I am doing to not accept the facts before me? Advice
One of the sad truths about relationships is that both people rarely fall out of love at the exact same time. One person is still in love while the other person begins to be cruel and nasty. In this case, your girlfriend is treating you with utter disrespect. Sure she may not like your salary - but love isn't about money, remember? How about all the couples who are perfectly content with no money at all? She's going to say you "only" make $35k? Heck, probably 99% of the world's population would consider you a prince charming!! And because of this "piddling" amount you make, she feels she is justified in abusing you and taking advantage of you? Hah!

I highly recommend going to a therapist or minister or SOMEONE if you really want to make this work, to have a talk with her. She shouldn't be going out to morningtime - we have to assume she's sleeping around. That is putting you at serious medical risk, which apparently she doesn't care about. If she has monetary issues, it's time for her to get her priorities straight. But most of all, for someone who once knew what being a soulmate was about, she needs to re-learn about respect and honesty.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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