I'm Obsessed with Looks
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old FemaleI am in a relashionship that is now quite serious...only one problem I feel jealous all the time. In the beginning I wasnt but I found out in the first 2 weeks that even though he had told me he had broken contact with other women online (thats how we met)he hadnt. I felt very betrayed.
Since then he actually made a comment about a famous star and how nice her body is. I am not a thin girl, not fat but definately have curves. When I am not in a relashionship I think I am very attractive, but once involved with someone and they let me know how attractive someone is that I could never look like without 1000$ in surgery how do I feel attractive?
Why are men with normal women? If a guys ideal woman is one on tv then why be with me? This just leads me to believe that odviously this woman could have my boyfriend at a moments notice and really is much more desirable than me to hmmm every man alive. The point to my question is that what is the point to being in a relashionship when obviously he thinks woman on tv and in magazines are far superior looking to me?
RomanceClass.com AdviceI think you need to rethink what's important in life! Sure people ADMIRE the looks of well built people. It's the same thing as going to a museum and admiring a nice painting! It doesn't mean you want to OWN all the paintings in the museum. And hopefully you've learned in life that a pretty body is about one of the least important things you could have in a relationship. Bodies sag and age. PERSONALITIES get better with time.
Why would your guy want to be with you? Because he LIKES YOU. What does liking you have to do with your body?? Would you really want a guy who only liked your body and who would abandon you when you aged, to move along to a new 'sexy body'?? I would hope not. You want a guy who is your *best friend* and who truly enjoys being with you.
I know lots of sexy women who are really nasty and evil as a person. Would any guy want to be with that? I know sexy women who sit home and watch soap operas all day and demand to be treated like princesses. What guy would want to deal with that? I know many sexy women who are divorced and alone because the guys couldn't stand living with them.
Being with someone is about being with a partner you love. It has nothing to do with the shape of the body they have. Sure, the shape might be exciting for a month or two. But after that, the agony of the personality far outweighs any momentary pleasure of touching the body.
If you really still have these obsessions about body shape, it might be time to talk to therapist and get it worked out. Life is FAR too short to worry about something that meaningless, or to waste money on surgery. There are people starving to death every day. They dream about food to eat, not about a tighter butt.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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