I've been Cheating for Seven Years

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am in a relationship with a woman and I am still married. She has ask me to give her space because of are relationship. This has been going on for seven years she is upset because I have not left my wife . It has been an issue because of my two children. I love her and want to be with her but I am scared what would happen with the relationship between my kids and me. Your thoughts.

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RomanceClass.com Advice
You should have asked yourself what this would do to your kids back when you started having the affair! Your kids will undoubtedly learn about this situation sooner or later. They're not going to think kindly of a guy who not only cheated on his wife but who did so for SEVEN YEARS, lying to his wife the entire time. That's not exactly the ideal that most children have of how to be a proper father and husband.

If you love this other woman, then go be with her. Your kids will learn to adjust to it, most kids live in divorced families anyway. But if you insist on cheating on your wife, cheating your kids out of a happy home and making this other woman's life miserable by keeping her as the 'other woman', all for your own selfish needs, then it's time to really take stock of what you're doing. YOU are the only one you are protecting with all of this behavior. Doesn't your wife deserve a husband who is with HER all the time and who loves her? Why are you forcing her to be stuck with a guy who isn't even there half the time and who loves someone else? Since your wife is therefore not happy, now you're forcing your kids to live with a mother who is unhappy AND a father who's actively betraying people he loves on a daily basis. That's not a good environment for children to grow up with.

You owe it to your wife to be honest with her and divorce her so she can find someone who DOES love her. You owe it to your kids to be at least a strong enough role model who can stand by what he does - not someone who lies and cheats to get what he wants. If you can't face the consequences, you shouldn't be doing the deed.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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