And now... the kids!

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating someone for a year now. His divorce will not be finalized for another 6 months. He has two children that I have not met (they live with their mother). When is the right time for me to meet them? Isn't he taking too long? Advice
I know what you mean. I've recently moved in with my boyfriend (of 6 months) and he hasn't seen my 4 kids either (they're from my ex-husband's former marriage, but in all other ways they're still mine). It's a delicate thing to introduce the new love-of-your-life to the other loves in your life. Particularly when the kids are young, they will see you with their father and they will instantly wonder if you're taking over for their mom.

Have patience, but nudge every now and then. Suggest that you go out with them to somewhere neutral, perhaps take them to Shrek 2. Remind him that since they are important to him, then they will become important to you. Let him know that you respect his concerns and that if the relationship between you two will grow stronger, then you will need to take part of that side of his life as well.

Good luck to you!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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