My girlfriend and her ex- have lunch together!

Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Male
Yesterday my girlfriend told me that she went to lunch with her ex. She had told me in the past that he had wanted for us to get together. He was dating other people by this time, but she said she would feel uncomfortable with the situation. What hurts me is that she feels uncomfortable with me being with her to meet him but she feels it is okay to meet him when I am not there. I am upset with this. What should I do? Drew Advice
First, she's not leaving you for her ex. They're just having lunch. They had a long relationship and that closeness they shared make for a good friendship afterwards. It's a good sign that she has a healthy relationship with her ex., it means that she's a good match for you.

I understand your feelings about wanting to meet her ex, but introducing you to him would be awkward for her because then what do the three of you talk about? All the things she would talk about with him, (old friends, common jokes, etc.) would be uncomfortable for you because you won't know any of the references. So then you're stuck talking about the weather.

Try not to worry about your girlfriend and her ex. Nothing in your letter indicates there's anything to get worked up or jealous over, so let her go with a smile and wish them a good time. Then enjoy her when she's with you. It'll all work out.

Good luck!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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