shes married with a child... but I love her

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
hi, i have a situation i need help with. i met this girl about 6 months ago througha friend .shes 18 im 22. i felt instant chemistry between us but i didnt persue because shes married with a child. well we became GOOD friends. she and her husband dont get along that well.5 months later she kicked him out and talked about divorcing him(she calls me immediately and wants me to come over)we have talked before this happened and distinguished we had feelings for each other.yet 2 days later she takes him back and tells me she doesnt have feelings for me. so i tried the "let it go and if it comes back its yours for good" trick. well she basically wouldnt let me she wants us both(by the way her husband and i know each other).we kiss occationally ,not very sensually, just pecks(exept the 2 days they were broke up). if i try anything more she says "NOT YET"? i just need some advise as far as; am i getting played? or should i stick it out?i tried to let go mentally, but shes differant, i cant do it. Advice
She's caught up in her marriage and even if the marriage were to fall apart, she'd need about half a year to get over the breakup. Any sooner and you'd just be a rebound for her. I'm glad the two of you are such good friends, but it sounds like she's just not ready to give up on her marriage, no matter how she's not feeling happy about it. You are a comfort to her, a way to have a safe partner without having to commit to it. She's getting the best of both worlds. You, unfortunately, are having to deal with this without getting much out of it.

I suggest that you stay friends with her, but branch out for your own relationship with someone new who can commit to you.

Good luck!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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