My Girl Seems to be Cheating

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My girl friend and i have been going out for a year and she acts diffrent now like she is trying to be someone shes not, she broke up withe me twice alredy because she said im controling when i tell her i dont want her talking to this guy she used to like and he is 4 years older than her. When we broke up she called him up to hang out but he said no. all he wonts is drugs and sex and i try to tell her that.

but resintly she has been acting funny like she has been doing something with some one because she seems more sex active. and i resintly found a note she and a friend were wrighting back and forth, she asked her friend in it if she thinks that guy likes her and her friend said im not shur and my gf said i hope he does. I told her i read the note and she riped it up then later she says that she was saying in the note that she hoped i still liked her but i cought her in a lie because i read it 3 times and the guys name was in it and thats who she was talking about.

what should i do? do you think she might be cheating on me? Advice
It does sound like something is going on there. Honesty and truth are THE most important things you can possibly have in any relationship, and she is actively lying to you. If she can't even be honest to you about a piece of paper, how can you trust her to be honest with you about things that are far more important?

I would sit down with her and tell her that you care for her, but that you need to be truthful. If she can't talk to you and trust you, then things aren't going to work. You need to hear what is really happening. If she claims that nothing is, then tell her it's time to take a break. Because it means she is just using you as a safety net while she thinks about having fun with other guys. Maybe taking a break will help her realize that she is making bad choices and that she has to start being more mature if she really wants to keep the relationship.

You can never make things better by ignoring them. Things will just get worse if you try to pretend "everything is OK".

-- Lisa

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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