about a month ago my boyfriend of 3.5 years cheated on me.

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
In february my boyfriend wanted me to move in. I left my husband of 17 years so that I could be w/him. I wasnt ready to move in yet..then, about a month ago my boyfriend of 3.5 years cheated on me. he slept w/the girl 1 time and then had a drink w/her on another occassion. they continued to talk on the phone everyday for a month. i walked into his room and he was on the phone w/her and he hung up. he looked guilty so right away I interrogated him until he confessed the whole thing. I told him I love him and I forgive him and we can work it out. at first he said he wanted to work it out but then after I left him a voicemail that said I wanted to breakup with him he agreed. it turned into days of sobbing..we have been split up now for 10 days. its torture. we still talk on the phone but he said he needs time alone to clear his head and maybe see other people. Im trying to give him his space but its hard. I asked him if he thinks that its over forever and he said he doesnt know. I didnt ask him if hes been seeing this girl because its too painful for me. I dont know what the future brings but he says he loves me and cares about me and something is missing. do you think that there is ever hope or do you think that its over forever? I dont know if hes being straight with me or what?

RomanceClass.com Advice
The phrase is, "once a cheater, always a cheater". This boyfriend of yours has already shown his colors to you, and you need to decide if you are willing to open up your heart to someone who has clearly disrespected your marriage by sleeping with you, and then your relationship with him by sleeping with some new girl. He will continue with this behavior since he already has crossed that line. He has no reason not to cross it again. I don't believe that this is a situation that you want to be in, and you might want to start fresh with someone that you can trust and that will trust you.

I wish you the best,


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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