i still have really strong feelings for her

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
hi me and my girlfriend have broken up because she says she wants to take a break from the relationship and try new people before she is positive that she wants to stay with me (oh and by the way we have been dating for a year now)well anyway she says we are still gonna be really good friends but the catch is that i can tell her i love her or she cant say it either because she says if we do that then this whole trial speration deal will be for nothing and in a way she is right.well here is the problem its really hard for me to do it because i still have really strong feelings for her and i know she is the one we are perfect for eachother and when we are on the phone she says its hard for her to talk to me sometimes because i make her miss me alot and i dont try to do that.and sometimes she ignores me when i call she says we have to be friends at the moment or else nothing will work out.well she has met one guy named ben and they talk on the phone but she has told me that she hasnt seen him for atleast a month and she isnt dating anyone either.well its really hard for me to go through with this because i love her so much and when she ignores me it makes me feel like she doesnt have any feelings for me anymore when i know she does because she even sometimes burst out of no where and tells me she loves me and then she says oops sorry it slipped after she says it.well i understand the whole her wanting to be sure about her wanting to be with me and i cant just tell her that im the one for her i mean she has the right to find out right?what i think i should do is let her see new people and wait for her to realize that im the one for her and no one else.is that the right thing to do thats what i want to know. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

RomanceClass.com Advice
Forcing someone to be with you will never work, so you will have to let her learn her own lessons as to what she wants or doesn't want. It's very very common for people to write in saying they wish they could get their ex back because now they realize how wonderful it was and they regret leaving it. So yes, I think at some point she's going to come around and say that leaving you was the wrong thing to do. Unfortunately, you can't pound that into her head right now, you'll just have to sit back and as time goes on it will be clear to both of you whether this is the right thing to do or not. The only scary part is if one of the two of you falls in love with someone new, but that's the risk that you are taking.

I think that it's wonderful that you feel all this for her and the more you tell her, the more she'll appreciate you. She does need some time to work out all those wild oats she's feeling, and once she does and settles down again, you'll be there with open arms.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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