I'm having second thoughts and I have no idea why because he is PERFECT!

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi I am 19 and very stressed out about this situation. I was in a relationship with a guy I met online for about a year. We broke about a 2 months ago because we had never met and I felt like we were never going to be able to because of our financial problems. So, I recently got involved with another guy who is very sweet, respectful, and generous. I really liked him at first but now I'm having second thoughts and I have no idea why because he is PERFECT! I keep thinking about my ex and I kind of want to get back with him but I'm scared because it's a big possibility that we will never meet and therefore there'll be no future for us and I don't want to stay with the guy I am with now because there is just something about him that I don't like but I know we could have a future together because he lives here. What should I do?

P.S. I really don't want to hurt this guy I am with now because he really likes me alot, and I still really love my ex.

RomanceClass.com Advice
This is a case of emotional safety. You were perfectly fine with your online boyfriend because he was distant. No matter how close you got, you really weren't close at all because you could always ignore the computer and he would suddenly be out of your life. You got up the nerve to break up with him because you realized that there is more to a relationship than words on a screen and you found it in your current boyfriend.

Now, you're having second thoughts about your current boyfriend because he's -too- close. You can't get away from him, he's making you feel claustrophobic. And so you're trying to find reasons to not like him so that you can put some emotional distance between the two of you.

What you need to do is learn how you're really feeling and figure out what to do about it. I would bet you think things with your boyfriend are going too fast and you want to slow down. So tell him this. Be open to the idea of getting closer and risking your emotions in order to have a more fulfilling, happier and spectacular relationship.

I wish you the best!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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